Slide Show

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2010-07-23T23:24:00.000-07:00

There's this hole in my chest. Right where my heart is. With every feeling I have. And I don't know what to fill it with. I don't know what else to do anymore. It just seems like everyday when I wake, I'm feeling better.. but when I try to sleep at night, I realize that nothing is better by any margin. When I close my eyes to go to sleep at night, I realize I can't sleep, but I have no explanation why. I lie awake, forcing myself for two or three hours. And then I wake up too early in the morning and have a fitful sleep for few more hours. I don't know what to do. It seems like I'm alone a lot too. Every hour by myself seems like it's extended for an unbearable amount of time. I can't find enough things to do to pass the time. Things like this, who am I supposed to tell? Because either no one knows what to say or they don't listen. And I'm not saying my life is hard or terrible by any means. It's so overwhelming right now and I'm lost in it and I need someone to pick me up and guide me because I don't know what to do anymore. When I pick up the pieces and try to move on through anything, everything crumbles in front of me. I'm on the verge of slipping and losing it, and I know and foresee this, but I can't stop it. What am I going to do..

my laptop is being ridiculous.

2010-04-25T19:28:00.000-07:00

Dakota Rudick
AP English / Period 4
April 26, 2010
The Scarlet Letter Essay Topic: A Critical Response One
Overuse of Symbolism in The Scarlet Letter
While some, such as author and lawyer Nancy Stade, find Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter and its themes “timeless and universal” (Stade “Introduction”). The famous American novelist Henry James, however, believes that Hawthorne utilized symbolism to the point of absurdity. The clash of opinions brings the reader to question if Hawthorne overused symbols or if each image he included was necessary to lead the reader to the theme. James’ criticism illuminates the fatal flaw in Hawthorn’s eminent novel, exposing the overload of symbols and representational imagery.
One first recognizes Hawthorne’s enthusiasm for images in the introduction “The Custom-House.” Through light and grass motifs, he expresses details about the characters and settings. For example, he says that the pavement around the Custom-House possessed “grass enough growing in its chinks to show that it has not, of late days, been worn by any multitudinous resort of business” to demonstrate the lack of activity at the Salem port (Hawthorne 7). On its own, it would prove an effective description of the wharf. In spite of this, the author includes a surplus of disease imagery to further elucidate his point. Over the course of four pages, he uses words like “discharging,” “dilapidated,” and “tarnished,” to describe the area filled with “decayed wooden warehouses,” and wharves “crumbled to ruin” (Hawthorne 6-9). The words, meant to bring to the reader’s mind a picture of the port as an ailing person, instead drag out the chapter unnecessarily and take away from the effect of his other symbolism.
Another major instance where Hawthorne wrecks his symbolic meaning is in the fifteenth chapter, “Hester and Pearl.” He effectively utilizes symbolism when he describes Roger Chillingworth. He says, “Hester gazed after him a little while, looking with a half-fantastic curiosity to see whether the tender grass of early spring would not be blighted beneath him, and show the wavering track of his footsteps, sere and brown” (Hawthorne 145). This demonstrates how dangerous Chillingworth is and the threat he may pose in the future to Hester’s happiness. However, the author mars the emphasis in Hester’s lament of fear with Pearl and her green scarlet letter. During Hester’s scene with Chillingworth, Pearl had been playing. “Her final employment was to gather sea-weed, of various kinds, and make herself a scarf, or mantle, and a head-dress, and thus assume the aspect of a little mermaid,” but instead of pretending to be a regular mermaid, she adds to her costume a green “A” on her bosom to match her mother’s (Hawthorne 147). While it successfully leads to Pearl questioning Hester as to the meaning of the letter, its obscure symbolism is lost on the reader and causes one to lose the image of Chillingworth and his wickedness.
Finally, in the most emphatic part of the book, Hawthorne’s symbolism takes a turn to absurdity. In chapter twenty-three, “The Revelation of the Scarlet Letter,” Reverend Dimmsdale finishes his election day sermon. Hawthorne utilizes irony and rhetoric when he then describes Dimmsdale: “How fared it with him then? Were there not the brilliant particles of a halo in the air about his head? So etherealized by spirit as he was, and so apotheosized by worshipping admirers, did his footsteps in the procession really tread upon the dust of earth?” The irony lies with the fact that Dimmsdale has portrayed himself to the town as more heavenly than he actually is. Then, suddenly, Dimmsdale confesses his involvement with Hester, and “With a convulsive motion he tore away the ministerial band from before his breast. It was revealed! But it were irreverent to describe that revelation.” The “it,” being his own scarlet letter, and Hawthorne’s greatest failing with the book, for all his excess disease imagery to the point where Dimmsdale’s exposure “ceases to be impressive, and grazes triviality” (James).
While influential critics of his time such as Evert A. Duyckinck call his book a “phsychological romance, a study of character in which the human heart is anatomized, carefully, elaborately, and with striking poetic and dramatic power,” they overlooked the high potency of the symbolism like a man on his twenty-first birthday wouldn’t realize how jello shots can add up. Those same critics say that Hawthorne differed from other literary works at the time by displaying “nature and ease” over “artifice and effort,” one wonders how ludicrously in-depth the other works were. For if the Scarlet Letter was “condensed in style,” Henry James’ opinion that the novel had too much could only be justified by the other books of its time.

Works Cited
http://www.answers.com/topic/the-scarlet-letter-novel-6
Barnes and Noble Classics Scarlet Letter
Nancy Stade, “Introduction” Barnes and Noble Classics Scarlet Letter

50 useless facts... to add to the 100 truths

2009-12-28T20:59:00.000-08:00

1. I hate snow.
2. And ice.
3. And guard rails.
4. I like to call my call myself a good driver one day and wreck my car the next.
5. I have a permanent padiddle.
6. Whenever sitting in a restuarant, I often wonder if the employees hate their jobs as much I hate mine.
7. I cut myself on saran wrap.
8. And then almost pass out at the sight of my own blood.
9. I like to spend a lot of time at the library.
10. I like to spend a good solid 80% of my day making fun of Andrew's ex-girlfriend.
11. I spend all of my free time talking on the phone, and never get tired of it.
12. I want my wedding cake from Carlo's Bakery simply because I love Cake Boss.
13. I once scratched the number off my iTunes card when trying to type it in.
14. I really like taco salad.
15. I've really come to hate Hempfield Lady Spartan tennis.
16. I probably won't play next year.
17. AP English rapes me everyday.
18. And AP Government is just one giant disaster. I do one of two things during that class: sleep or text.
19. I've learned that you need to give everything a chance.
20. A lot has changed in the last few months of my life.
21. I really like the show Two and a Half Men.
22. I get really excited when The Office is on for three hours on Tuesday nights.
23. I think pumping gas is a man's job.
24. I'm really sad that the Harry Potter series is over.
25. As well as the Twilight saga.
26. I've learned that people will always make mistakes, but it's all about realizing you've made one and then fixing the damage.
27. Somethings just can't be forgotten.
28. Some people just create soft spots in your heart.
29. It's possible to love someone so much and realize that you didn't love that person, just the person you thought he or she was.
30. I like to correct people when he or she uses incorrect grammar.
31. I love going out to dinner.
32. I've had my license for two weeks and five days.
33. And I've already had my first accident.
34. I hate HDTV.
35. Sometimes I like to take a couple minutes and just think.
36. I really hate being a junior.
37. I forgot to register for the January SAT's. My b.
38. I hate how my phone and laptop die so fast.
39. I was an ugly, chubby child.
40. I think I grew up too fast.
41. I'm so mature for only being sixteen.
42. Just because I'm sixteen, doesn't mean I'm "young and stupid."
43. I love taking naps.
44. I really hate the color of my hair these days.
45. I try not to regret anything.
46. Don't dwell on the past.
47. Learn to forgive.
48. But you don't necessarily have to forget.
49. Learn from your mistakes.
50. I really love life these days, it's the happiest I've been in an extremely long time.

I hate snow

2009-12-28T12:00:00.000-08:00

I really hate snow. It ruins my plans. My mom doesn't let me out of the house when it snows. I know that it's for my own safety but I get so bored. I might work tonight. But my car is getting fixed... hopefully. I'm so bored. So bored. I have nothing to do. Maybe I'll work. I don't think I'm that desperate.

K

Quote of the day: "I'm so pissed at my mom, that as soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home."

Who all seen the leprechaun say yeahhhhh!

2009-12-27T23:24:00.001-08:00

Christmas, among other things

2009-12-27T08:16:00.000-08:00

Well, I'd say this year was the best Christmas by far. My parents thought it was cute to say, "you have one box, you can't return it, and I don't know if you're going to like it." So, I wake up Christmas morning, all giddy, open my one box. And would you like to know what's inside? Other boxes. I got some clothes, jewlery, a new coat, two scarves, my Minnetonka boots, some blankets, a Pitt snuggie, my laptop and an HDTV. :] I was extra liked this year. And I now have $100 to BP to put gas in my damaged car. Which I can't believe I wrecked my car this close to Christmas. It's quite depressing and I almost let it ruin my holiday. But I talked to my uncle yesterday and he said he would call around Monday and if he found one, he'd put it in on Monday so I could drive it to work Tuesday. But we'll see, I think I found one online for $80. But other than that, I had to go back to work last night. 5-11. Yeah, I almost cried a few times. I had to actually do manual labor. It was incredibly awful. Tip: It's awful to be off for a few days and have a holiday and feel like you never have to go back to work, then you go back and it hits you like, WOW THIS SUCKS. And I get to work 5-9 tonight, could life get any better? Prob not. I have to clean my room today, it's getting extremely bad. You can't walk. I have no clean clothes. My room reaks like Roadhouse. Ugh, I have to pee. I'm hungry. I'm feeling a little whiny. Also, I want to complain that my iTunes on my laptop is empty and my other computer has so many songs. :( Ugh. I hate technology. I want to wish all my songs on there... But I'm going to go before you lose your mind. Much love.

K

Quote of the day: I believe that love is the answer.

P.S. I refuse to put a picture of the damage to my car on here. It's just not going to happen. I don't want evidence.

License

2009-12-26T07:31:00.001-08:00

So, this is what a licensed driver looks like. Yeah, it's legal for me to operate a vehicle alone. :D

In 12 hours...

2009-12-09T19:14:00.001-08:00

I will be taking my driving test. I'm starting to get the butterflies. But I really believe I'm going to pass. Please pray that I pass. On a larger scale, Carson had his scans on Monday, and his results came back and said that there were no new masses and the Gamma Knife area looks good. :] I'm sick, but the doctor doesn't know what I have. But tomorrow, I take my test. I'm nervous. I will be a licensed driver tomorrow.

Pray for me. I need to pass. Love you and miss you.

Homecoming :D

2009-10-20T16:19:00.000-07:00

For some reason it will not let me upload these pictures, I'm going to try again in a few. Just wanted to let you know that I'm having a technical difficulty.

100 Truths

2009-08-23T13:41:00.000-07:00

100. I absolutely love my phone, the Dare, which has a purple cover on it that makes an excellent chew toy.
99. I quote movies like it's my job. Deal.
98. It really hurts me when I get screwed over because I would never do that to someone.
97. I really hate when someone copies another person.
96. I have scars all over the back of my arms from something you wouldn't understand. They make me self-concious.
95. I think tanning is relaxing and addicting.
94. I'm extremely shy when I don't know someone and it takes me a while to loosen up, but if you get me talking, I won't shut up.
93. If I'm nervous while talking, I'll touch my throat a lot.
92. I think the American Idols Live Tour 2009 was the greatest concert I've ever been to.
91. I was sobbing when Danny Gokey came on stage.
90. Needless to say, I think American Idol Season 8 was absolutely amazing. And I love Danny, he deserved to win. Period.
89. I'm that girl that loves Twilight. It's an obsession.
88. Oh. I'm employed at Texas Roadhouse. Yee haw. Legendary? Yes.
87. My birthday is on 4/20. And no, I do not get high on my birthday.
86. I'm on the varsity tennis team. Tennis is one of my passions. I work my ass off to get better.
85. I recently painted my room "Sun Shower" yellow. The reasoning behind it: yellow makes me smile.
84. But green is my favorite color.
83. The Pittsburgh Penguins own the NHL. Period.
82. I would make Marc-Andre my French-Canadian bitch anyday.
81. I paid $11.00 for a Penguin lanyard, and to this day, I still think it was worth it.
80. I bought a pair of boating shoes. I don't go boating.
79. I've already picked out my wedding gown. Kleinfeld's.
78. I have an extreme obsessive compulsive disorder, and I wish I could control it.
77. I used to adore T. Pryor more than anything in this world. But then I realized he's nothing but an asshole.
76. I'm a nerd that loves to read. I plan trips to Barnes & Noble.
75. I don't wear light blue jeans. I think they're too 90's looking.
74. I've learned that no one ever gets what they deserve.
73. I cry whenever I have some sort of heightened emotion.
72. I love reading romance novels.
71. I believe there is someone out there for me that will make me happy unconditionally.
70. I don't think you should waste time with someone that makes you miserable.
69. I never really understood why people laughed hysterically at 69.
68. The Pittsburgh Panthers have my heart.
67. The Pirates? A bunch of bums.
66. My tennis racquet has purple strings and a purple grip. Sick.
65. "Take my eyes but not my shirt!"
64. I am always freezing. I sleep with 3 blankets, sometimes more, at all times.
63. I never wear pants around my house.
62. I have a tan line on my finger from my ring. Sweet.
61. I think Dane Cook is the funniest man alive.
60. I really transformed throughout 9th grade. And it was a change for the worse.
59. But now, I'm the same person I was in middle school, with minor adjustments.
58. I can't believe I'm a junior in high school.
57. I don't think I'm ready to grow up.
56. It's a scary thought that soon I will be able to operate a vehicle. Legally.
55. I am tone deaf, but I sing all the time anyway.
54. I recycle paper.
53. I love weddings. I think seeing two people get married is beautiful.
52. I can be so naive sometimes. Big downfall.
51. I don't think people ever change. I think someone can put up false pretenses and facades, but at the end of the day, you're still the same person.
50. I'm the freak that goes and gets her Harry Potter book at midnight. And reads it until 5 AM.
49. True love is the soul's recognition of it's counterpoint in another.
48. I only drink iced tea without lemon.
47. A man with an accent will win me over.
46. I get migraines all the time. They make me crabby and upset.
45. My neurologist is a funny man.
44. Hate is a passionate emotion.
43. I like flowers, just not roses.
42. Tulips and daffodils are my favorite.
41. Vera Wang is one of my favorite designers.
40. Her perfume Princess smells incredible.
39. It takes me forever to bounce back from a broken heart.
38. Liars are a waste of time. They're never going to tell you the truth.
37. Mistakes don't define you.
36. My doubles partner and I have our own lingo. We make up our own mottos and victory dances. It's what we do.
35. I don't think the saying "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" is true.
34. I love putting blonde highlights in my hair.
33. I'm actually unsure if that word is spelled blond or blonde?
32. I think my best friend is the greatest best friend in the entire world.
31. I'm an extremely indecisive person.
30. Which sometimes makes me a follower, not a leader.
29. This is Fleury's number. He's banging.
28. You can't pressure me into doing something I don't want to do.
27. And you can't talk me out of doing something I want to do.
26. I will always help someone in need. Please, don't take advantage of that.
25. I will never half ass anything. It's the OCD.
24. I like when my underwear matches my outfit.
23. I love when it rains.
22. I have a bad back and bad hips. I visit the chiropractor a lot.
21. Controlling girlfriends/boyfriends are ridiculous.
20. It's easier to say you don't care than list all the reasons why you do.
19. I wish there were some people/things I could just stop caring about. But it's impossible.
18. I think the saying "I'm just sayin'" is the greatest.
17. I think America really is the greatest country in the world. We have it made.
16. I think Obama is nothing but a socialist.
15. And he's not doing anything good for this country.
14. I'm not very forgiving. At all.
13. I'll stay angry forever and a day.
12. Take me for a ride on your big green tractor.
11. I really don't think the world will end in 2012.
10. I don't spend a lot of time getting ready to go somewhere.
9. I'm terrified of bugs all shapes and sizes
8. I love to canoe and kayak. But hate camping. That doesn't make me stuck up, it's just not my thing.
7. This is my lucky number.
6. I cannot wait to hear that my little cousin Carson is in remission. And watch him grow up.
5. I wish I could pull off wearing red lipstick.
4. I'm married. My wife keeps me in line.
3. I once got pulled over because I was a suspected DUI.
2. I detest being tickled.
1. I tend to complain a lot and throw temper tantrums.

I don't know

2009-07-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

What is wrong with me. I went to sleep last night at 2 and woke up at 5 and could not go back to sleep. Yes, I'm still awake just dilly dallying. I don't know what to do with myself. I am painting my room. Yellow. :] How exciting! I'm going to go buy some sheets and find a comforter and a new bookshelf. I don't know why I want to do this all of a sudden but I've decided to do it. I'm going to go find a comforter. I'll talk to you later. Much love.

K

Quote of the day: I used to be love drunk. But now I'm hungover.

I want...

2009-07-19T22:32:00.001-07:00

Okay. I already know this. You're going to call me crazy. BUT, here's the big but. Do not call me crazy... just yet. I want a baby. Right now, as in tomorrow. I just see all these pregnant women and it makes me want a baby. I know it's totally irrational. But I'm just feeling particularly maternal! So, I want to put my life in fast forward until I'm married and pregnant, if either ever happens...? Okay, it's a legit time, you may call me crazy. I'm going to bed with my insane, irrational thoughts. Night, much love.

K

I love power naps

2009-07-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

I have so much energy now. I fell asleep for 30 solid minutes. Then my mom ruined it when she called asking radonk questions. I was a bit irritated. But not so much anymore. I'm waiting for my love doodle to get off work so I can see her lovely face. I really hope it doesn't rain. I want to go to the drive-in. But I'm going to go. Much love.

K

Quote of the day: Guitars, tiki bars, and a whole lot of love.

Speaking of... Hawaiian night at work on Wednesday... you better be there!

Dooney Bag...

2009-07-19T13:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.dooney.com/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?section=43265
Which color!?!?!?

Taylor, you've done it again

2009-07-19T13:32:00.000-07:00

You've once again impressed me with something awesome. I absolutely love this song, it has a catchy beat. But, my reasoning for posting this blog is to say, I have no time for anything. I have to work everyday until next Monday. :( I want to hang out with my best friend because I haven't seen her in forever, I'm going to try to give my shift away one day this week. But no one will take it because no one really wants to work. I have to go to tennis tomorrow. Boo. Maybe it'll rain. No, I need to go practice. I cannot wait to get a new phone. I have nothing exciting to tell you other than I was decorating everyone at work with these ugly giant tape stars. I think I'm going to take a nap. I didn't sleep well last night. I have nothing to say other than I still want my Dooney bag... in I don't know which color. Oh, yeah, I'm going to go find the link so you can look at all the colors Miss Ann. You must let me know which colors you like. Much love.

K

FORTUNA MAJOR

2009-07-18T20:17:00.000-07:00

I'm watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. But that's not the point of this post. The shoes pictured on the left have really caught my eye. And next time I go to the mall, I think I'm going to try them on with a nice pair of jeans. I think they might MAYBE be cute? I really like them though. And of course, like I promised, I found those Rocket Dogs online... in a 7 1/2. Yay me. I also found out that the Dooney bag I want comes in a plethora of colors. I don't know what colors yet, so I'll post the website next time I'm on. Today was extremely uneventful. I went to work at 1 and didn't leave until 9:30... I was rolling silverware the entire time. We were really busy, so hopefully I made a ton of money so that I can buy my 135 dollar bag? Let's hope. I can't wait to get a new phone. I might go see Harry Potter 6 again at the drive-in. Missa and I go to the drive-in every Sunday now. I'm chugging through Second Glance... it's pretty difficult haha. But I think I'm going to read to make myself sleepy because I have to open tomorrow. Have a good evening. Much love.

K

Inspirational things

2009-07-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, we just have to be happy with what people can offer us. Even if it's not what we want, at least it's something.

We can't expect everybody to be there for us, all at once. So it's a lucky things that really, all you need is someone.

I really like these two thoughts. A lot. I'm going to go frolic about until i leave with Taylor.

K

Make your banana pancakes

2009-07-14T09:55:00.000-07:00

I really do love Jack Johnson. That's not the reason I'm posting this blog, but still I thought should put it out there. So yesterday, please listen to the horrendous things I had to endure. I woke up at 9:45 and had to go to MANDATORY dance class that I did NOT get paid for. I learned how to do Long Neck Bottle and Watermelon Crawl. Which was exciting. I then had to go directly to tennis (which was worth it because I hit very well) and I got some nice tan lines. Then I had to come home, shower, go to work and to top it all off, I closed. It was an extremely long day. When I got home, I watched a little TV, read and passed out. I slept a sold 12 hours (QUALITY)! I am now awake, and I'm very sore. Mostly my upper arms and the insides of my thighs, STUPID MEDICINE BALL. Sadly, I have to go to tennis and close again tomorrow, but oh well. I'm going to dinner with Tyler today and then, oh and then... HARRY FREAKING POTTER 6 AT MIDNIGHT BABY. I'm so excited I don't even know how to tell you. Plus, I get to see my beautiful cousin on Thursday. Woot, woot. I can't wait until my phone upgrade, Kyle has been acting funny lately and I don't know how many more days that fellow has left in him. I also wanted to say, I really do love Jason Aldean and I wish I could see him in concert. But tickets are probably really expensive and he's coming with Keith Urban and I don't like Keith. Mikey's laptop is going to die. Be back later! Much love.

K

Anger

2009-07-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

So, maybe I've just had a lot of anger in the past two weeks. That's a probable cause. I vented today while playing tennis, and the energy came out in a positive way. I've realized that you can't waste energy hating or being upset. Take all that negative energy and put it towards something positive. Such as tennis. Today was the best I've played in a really long time and it really felt good. Plus we were tossing an 8 pound medicine ball across the net. Haha, it was very entertaining to watch. Also, Tyler wants to take me to dinner tomorrow. I don't really know if that's an awesome idea, but we'll see how that goes. I have to go to work right now, so I'm going to go ta ta for now. Much love until I return.

K

More to the last

2009-07-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

So, nothing really exciting has been going on in my life. My mom says I'm bitter about the whole Tyler situation, but I'm really not. I'm kind of unhappy these days... I know I shouldn't be because I'm the one that ended things with Tyler. It's just that, I don't know how to be happy without someone. I do miss him, but I am happy with just hanging out with him. I know it's just because I have a lot of time on my hands to think about all the mistakes I've made and things I could've done differently. I can't live my life that way and I know I can't, it's just hard to think of other things these days. I really get the feeling that this is somehow my fault, but I did what I thought was best for both of us. We were both holding the other one back. From what? I haven't learned yet. And I know I said that I don't need a boyfriend to make me happy, I just need someone to talk to and cares about my feelings and about me and wants to be with me. But I know that as soon as I go back to school, I'm not going to care about any of that. I told you, it's just the excess time on my hands speaking. One more thing I want to add to that list: Mistakes do not define a person, the way they deal with the consequences does. Oh yeah and one more thing about Tyler George. He is talking to some little sophmore from PT on Myspace. Her name is Joey and I want to know about her. He calls her "gorgeous" because he says that's her nickname. Obviously he didn't like me that much if he is already scoping out a new honey. Ashley said that he's taking a step down and looking for a rebound. Surprisingly, I'm not jealous of her, it's just that I'm a little offended he found whatever he could that fast. It makes him look desperate. I would like to hang out with you sometime soon Taylor Ann. If you're not busy Thursday or Friday, that'd be excellent. My uncle is taking me driving, so I'm going to go drive MY car Danny Girl. :D That's so exciting to say. Anyway, let me know about this week. Much love.

K

Something I've learned

2009-07-12T15:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've definitely become a wise sixteen year old girl. I have learned quite a few things and I'm going to make a list. I hope you avoid mistakes by taking these tips.
1. I do not need a boyfriend to make me happy.
2. Never give someone more than you're willing to lose.
3. Don't rely on someone to make you happy.
4. People don't take your feelings in consideration because they're too busy trying to make themselves happy.
5. People never get the things they deserve.
6. Second chances don't exist because people never change.
7. You get what you give, but also what you're willing to take.

Wow

2009-07-10T11:51:00.001-07:00

I just typed this extremely long post about what's going on right now and it didn't even post. I'm in the red! That's okay, I'll be here tomorrow to retell I suppose.

K

Update on my life

2009-07-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

I haven't been on an extremely long time. But I am here now to give you an update on my life. Carson's cancer is back. He had a tumor on the lining of his brain. His surgeon took all of the abnormal cells (things that glowed on the MRI) out. And he is now in intensive care healing as I write this. It's really hard to see him suffer through this, it's even harder because since he is so young he doesn't understand that he is sick. He just thinks that his childhood is supposed to be like this and it's extremely heart breaking. Other than that, nothing has been exciting. American Eagle is having a giant sale and I bought some good stuff. I've seens Transformers 2 twice now and My Sister's Keeper was a huge dissapointment. I won't say the ending because I don't want to ruin it for you Miss Ann. I have to work today, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Sigh. I need the money though to support my ridiculous shopping habit. I finally have my debit card (huge mistake). I think I want Coach slip ons for school and maybe a pair of Rocket Dogs too. I don't know, I don't want to think about going back to school. I'm really excited because HP6 is in 11 days. I might be going to Michigan with you Miss Ann, I need to check with my boss etc. I've been kind of depressed lately, I just layed in my bed yesterday just staring at the wall. But I have to go deal with mean people who have no manners, so I have to slap a smile on my face and try to be that false cheery. This is just a rough month so far. I love you Taylor, I'll see you soon. Much love.

K

Wisconsin

2009-06-08T19:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Taylor, being in Wisconsin is much different than PA haha. I can't wait until Harry Potter and Barnes & Noble (aka booking). But anyway, I'm looking for something cool to get you because we went shopping in downtown Madison. But, there was nothing that stood out and said "Taylor would enjoy this," but I'll continue to look. Also, I will look while shopping in Chicago. Oh, there mall is so different! They don't have a Chik Fil A. I'm reading Eclipse for the seventh time, almost finished. But I have to work on Sunday. How's the luck with the job? I might not be able to watch the Pens game because my aunt and uncle only have basic cable. But I will find my way to the sports bar down the road to watch my dear Penguins. So anyway, let me know what's going on in Jeannette, PA. Talk to you later dearest Taylor. Oh yeah, sweet specs. Much love.

K

Super sweet

2009-06-02T09:34:00.001-07:00

I am in Chem class, sitting next to Nina. She is writing a poem for English. I really hate school, and I have only have 1 1/2 days left. I really hate school. I am done with finals. And Mr. Harden thinks my lab analysis was better than his Honors students. He must thank God for me everyday. Haha, just kidding. I have to go to lunch. Bye! Can't wait to hang out Taylor Lee!

K

Boo

2009-05-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

I am so stupid. You wouldn't believe it. I bought an Itunes card yesterday. I was filled with glee as went to the Itunes store and clicked on American Idol. I was just about to purchase Adam Lambert's Black or White... I turned to scratch the silver stuff off the gift card. And I couldn't read it. It was pretty much unreadable. I was so upset. So now, I have to waste another fifteen dollars. But Idol is worth it. I have to go get ready for work. Boo.

K

On the brigh side...

2009-05-14T07:36:00.001-07:00

THE PENGUINS ARE GOING FOR THE STANLEY CUP!
LET'S GO BOYS!

Upset

2009-05-14T07:30:00.001-07:00

I am so upset. Last night on American Idol, Danny Gokey went home. I cried for ten minutes, I was so upset. He didn't deserve to go home, and now I hate Kris Allen for existing. It's supposed to be Danny and Adam in the finals. I bathed the kitten last night, she smells like green apples and is so soft. She makes me happy. I got my first paycheck yesterday! $86.01! Woo, go me! I think I'm going to frame it! But unfortunately I have to pay Nina's mum back for MY AMERICAN IDOL TICKET! I'm pumped. I think I might go tan. I dunno. I have nothing better to do and I'm a little bit depressed because of American Idol. I bought contancts yesterday and a really cute pair of Nike's for work. I am finally done with that Wuthering Heights report that I've been dreading, and yes, I did it without finishing the book. But I'm going to finish it because it's in Eclipse! School is almost out for the year I cannot be more excited. I have to go clean my room, and do some things. Taylor, we need to go to Barnes and Noble next weekend! Let me know what you think of that?

Thoroughly sad and upset,
K

My first day of work

2009-04-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

Well, first day of work was actually not that bad. I did a lot of walking. And I am not really a fan of the hostesses I work with. But other than that, I didn't have that bad of a day. The people were nice, but it's work. So, I really have to pee. I'll give you a more detailed description because I don't work tomorrow. :D

K

I am officially employed

2009-04-27T16:47:00.000-07:00

Today, after signing my name about thirty times, I became officially employed at the Texas Roadhouse. I'm not really excited about it, at all. It's just something I have to do to get money. I should just be a prostitute, you make more. Ha, kidding. But anyway, I stayed home from school today because I'm lazy. So I didn't have to swim with the creepy kids in my class. Nothing is really exciting. So, I'm going to go eat something and hopefully go buy work shoes.

K

You're not going to believe this shenanigans

2009-04-25T08:48:00.000-07:00

I, Dakota Lynn Rudick, am a permited driver. I drove, and didn't run over any small kids. :D Yay me. I can drive. Finally. I love life.

Long, long day

2009-04-24T17:29:00.000-07:00

Overall, the anyalysis of today: couldn't really get much worse. Sorry, I haven't been on in such a long time. Birthday events have been exhausting. But, as you know, I'm no longer 16. The big countdown is finally over. Cool stuff I received: Edward cutout, diamond earrings, and my personal favorite, The Scene Aesthetic CD. :D Well last night, I didn't really get a lot of sleep, again, sigh. I woke up and went to school with my brosky, met my dad at the school so he could sign my working papers. Which, now that we're on the topic, Nina might not get the job? She better, or I'll be devestated. Anyway, I had second period first today, so I had Spanish first. Ew. I had a test, but on the bright side, I only didn't know 1! Which is a huge feat for me. Then I had a quiz in Chem, and surprise! He wasn't even here to teach the stuff on it. Then I had another test in math, but I got a 100. Then, I had to stay after school for my lesson with Jer and Ab. I was under the impression that Bob was picking me up and taking me to Tyler's. But when I called my mom, she flipped out, surprise. I had to go home with Abbey and I didn't have a ride to Tyler's. So, he's mad at me, claiming that it's my fault? I should of asked Bob directly. But Bob and my mom thought that I was talking about Saturday. I know stuff happens, but for some reason Tyler is so mad? I didn't do anything, so I just took the blame. I don't care. I watched Sex and the City. Then I cried for no apparent reason numerous times. I've just had a long week. I wish I could've hung out with my best friend tonight. I miss her. On the only bright side, I'm tan. I take my permit test tomorrow, so wish me luck. I think I need to go tame the beast I call my room before it eats me.

Quote of the day: Don't let the bad things rule your life.

K

One good thing...

2009-04-17T18:49:00.000-07:00

is that I will be 16 in 3 days.

K

Difficult

2009-04-17T18:44:00.001-07:00

I'm unsure of how I put up with my life day to day. First, I get yelled at by some BITCh about my tanktop that wasn't even revealing. Whatev. Then, in homeroom, Wifey says Liv told me that Tyler has been texting her a lot lately, but she didn't answer him back because she doesn't want you mad at her. My boyfriend, once again, denied it and made it look like I overreacted. Then J-Rugg tells me that Kusma told him that Milena Kalp and Kusma were at Tyler's on Sunday. And Milena and Tyler were in his room together, alone, in the dark. Once again, Tyler denied it and tried to turn it around on me about me not trusting him. Which, I don't trust him AT ALL now. Because first of all, he kept the fact that Milena was at his house from me. Obviously for a reason though? He's just SO shady. And it's annoying. I'm done trusting him. So then, I had swimming. And Chris Reese was talking about getting my number and asked me if my boyfriend would be mad about me talking to him. Wouldn't he be if his girlfriend did? Plus HE HAS a girlfriend. He only likes me because I'm just SO tan. Actually, I'm not really. Then I came home and went to the movies with Nina. We saw Adventureland. It was actually really funny and kind of cute. Then we went to the mall and got free chicken. Pens are on fire, I hope you're watching. Tomorrow, Carson's party. Awesome. Be here tomorrow.

Quote of the day: Hm, I think she violated my cat Gypsy with a ball point pen once.

K

I feel white

2009-04-15T14:22:00.000-07:00

I think I'm addicted to tanning. I really feel the urge to go today. I feel white! I don't care if Missy goes tomorrow or not, I'm going. Anyway, my math teacher is a homo. He came around with his little clip board with 5 minutes left in class to check if we were doing our homework. Really? Yes. I have homework. I'm just procrastinating. Juluis Caesar just isn't appealing. Brenden the flirtatious sea lion and I are just destined for failure. We redid our chem lab, and we were supposed to get around 30 g, we got 12 g. We suck. Oh well. I had swimming. That sucked because the water was cold. And Josh Brimmer is a creeper. Chris whatever asked Lyss for my number. Creepy. Getto just called me the bodacious matree hopping whore frog. Wow. What grade is he in? Once again, I've had another really long day. I have a giant Chem test tomorrow. *Sigh*. I should go study because I want to just lay in bed because American Idol is on tonight. Almost everyone, except Kris and Allsion and Lil were awesome last night so I don't know who will be in the bottom. It's keeping me on edge. I have swimming again on Friday. Sadness. BUT TODAY IS NINA PANINA'S SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY. YAY. I'm going to go do something useful. Birthday = 5 days. Yay. I need to go tan.

K

Long day

2009-04-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

I did not get very much sleep. I was having a pain my stomach? And today felt like the longest day of my life. Brenden the flirtatious sea lion and I screwed up our Chem lab. So, I have to redo that tomorrow. Cool. I hate Spanish class, but what else is new. I have no idea how I am going to pass my Chem test on Thursday. I have a headache. But American Idol is on tonight and my birthday is in 6 days. Nina's is tomorrow! Nothing really excited happened today. Except, I can't get a physical until next Thursday. So, looks like I will be taking my permit test next weekend. That's okay, the Pens play tomorrow. I'll be okay. Just a bad day. I really like the song Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson. And oh yeah, I'm on a boat?

K

Today

2009-04-13T10:52:00.000-07:00

I'm really starting to hate today. I have a headache. I went to tennis, and I didn't play that terrible. But for some reason, I can't serve? I came home expecting to go tanning, but Missy bailed. Cool. Bob forgot my papers for the doctor. I'm mad because I'm probably not going to get them back before my birthday, so I can't take my permit on the 21. Awesome. My room is a mess, my head is throbbing. I want to go tanning. I have to clean my room. Today just sucks.

Only good things, 7 days until my birthday. Ew, Amanda is talking really loud. Irritating.

K

Wasn't I cute?

2009-04-12T16:13:00.000-07:00

Wow, I was a small child once. :)
ONLY EIGHT DAYS UNTIL I'M 16!

K

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T15:49:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter! I've had a very long day. In order: Aunt Carlie's, Great Grandma Rudick's,Great Grandma Magil, Dad's, Grandma Coleen's, Grandma Ida's, and finally home. I really don't know what to do with myself. My boobs are sunburnt. :( So I dunno if I'll tan tomorrow. But I want to. I need to buy my classic for English. I don't want to go back to school. I have so much candy I have no idea what I'll do with it. I don't have much to say, so I won't waste any more of your time.

Quote of the day: If you're goin' through hell, keep on goin', don't slow down. If you're scared, don't show it. You might get out before the Devil even knows you're there.

K

Tanning

2009-04-11T13:56:00.000-07:00

I went tanning at Tan Lines today. Well, yesterday I went for 10 minutes. So, today I bumepd up to 15. I left my bangs down, so my forehead is white, and so are my eyes because of the goggles. So I have super red, cherry cheeks! I look so cute. But on the bright side, that's color and not pasty. Plus, my first session was buy one, get one free. So, my next session is free. I think I'm gonna go on Monday. I can't wait until summer when can get a real tan. And not an artifical one. Plus, I can't wait to drive? Duh.

K

That party last night...

2009-04-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

was awfully crazy, I wish we taped it. Just kidding. Yesterday was fun. KYLEE picked me up because she got her permit on Friday! Yay her. And then we went tanning, with minor errors. Actually, she almost ran over the ATM machine, but everybody makes mistakes. I went for ten minutes, and felt like an idiot because I thought I had to turn on the bed, so I was just sitting and waiting. But then it turned on. It's so relaxing and warm. If you didn't get tan, I would still go tanning. It's nice. And then we went to that really good J place for pizza. And then we rented Slumdog Millionaire, it was terrible. It was mostly little Indian kids being beaten. It was dumb. Then we played dress-up and took millions of pictures like friends of ours. :D As you can see in the photo to the left, we're pretty. And yes, I'm wearing spandex. Hot. Then I came home all ready to watch Seven Pounds because you know, Comcast has them the day they are released on DVD. False cognate. I clicked through and they don't even have it. That's total crap. So, I came into my room, browsed through the web. I read the rest of Chapter 3: Learning to Drive in my Pennsylvania Driver's Manual. Woo, I hope I pass! I think I will take it 2 weeks from today? I don't know yet. Anyway, I'm really bored. I really want to watch Seven Pounds. :( I want to hang out with Tyler today, but I don't think I have a ride. Depressing. Taylor, the song I'll Run by The Cab is really good. Surprisingly, I heard it on SportsCenter. Good stuff, I don't know what I'm about to go do because I have no life. So, I might be back later.

K

Oh goody

2009-04-10T12:27:00.001-07:00

Oh goody. So last night my sleep was absolutely terrible. It was very light, I kept waking up and rolling around. And to top it all off, I dreamt about the people from American Idol. It was creepy, but Danny looked cute in my dream. Anyway, I really shouldn't be on here because I need to go take a shower. Wifey is picking me up at 4:30 and we're going to dinner. Then I dunno what. So, I'll be back whenever I can. I've had a very uneventful day. As you can tell.

K

Taylor

2009-04-09T18:31:00.002-07:00

You must watch the three videos I just posted. You'll enjoy them! :]

K

Third

2009-04-09T18:30:00.002-07:00

Second

2009-04-09T18:30:00.001-07:00

First

2009-04-09T18:29:00.001-07:00

First post of the new blog

2009-04-09T18:15:00.000-07:00

I decided to delete my old blogs. I dunno know why, but I did. I forgot how much I missed this. As you know, I'm a sophmore and this year has been pretty hectic. But on the crazy and spectacular side, I will be 16 in 11 days. I'm going to try to pass my permit test on my first try. I am going to try so hard. I've been reading book and taking practice quizzes on line. Nina has been in Florida since yesterday haha. I miss her in Chem and Geometry. :( Anyway, I don't even know what to tell you because you've missed so much. So, I'll just keep it current. Easter is soon. :D So is my birthday. I just can't believe that I will be able to be in control of a vehicle. That's crazy. My pap is in the hospital because his stomach is bangin' out of order. But Carson is doing well, his count is high, which is always great. I watched 4 births in a row today in Child Development. Seriously, having babies should probably be illegal. It's so disgusting. I know it's a "miracle," but really? Come on. It's just a bit disturbing. I think I'm going to go download some music. I'm hanging out with Wifey tomorrow. Oh, I want to see I Love You, Man and Adventureland. But Adventureland is reserved for Nina so that we can watch our favorite, twitchiest actress ever. By the way, my room is disastrous. And in case you didn't know, I will be 16 in 11 days. Holy Santa Claus! Well, I'll be back tomorrow. And you should be happy to know that I"m back to document my everyday life. That's super.

Quote of the day: Then ask me the most basic question. What do we eat? Ah God, cheeseburgers.

K