Friday, July 23, 2010
...
There's this hole in my chest. Right where my heart is. With every feeling I have. And I don't know what to fill it with. I don't know what else to do anymore. It just seems like everyday when I wake, I'm feeling better.. but when I try to sleep at night, I realize that nothing is better by any margin. When I close my eyes to go to sleep at night, I realize I can't sleep, but I have no explanation why. I lie awake, forcing myself for two or three hours. And then I wake up too early in the morning and have a fitful sleep for few more hours. I don't know what to do. It seems like I'm alone a lot too. Every hour by myself seems like it's extended for an unbearable amount of time. I can't find enough things to do to pass the time. Things like this, who am I supposed to tell? Because either no one knows what to say or they don't listen. And I'm not saying my life is hard or terrible by any means. It's so overwhelming right now and I'm lost in it and I need someone to pick me up and guide me because I don't know what to do anymore. When I pick up the pieces and try to move on through anything, everything crumbles in front of me. I'm on the verge of slipping and losing it, and I know and foresee this, but I can't stop it. What am I going to do..
Sunday, April 25, 2010
my laptop is being ridiculous.
Dakota Rudick
AP English / Period 4
April 26, 2010
The Scarlet Letter Essay Topic: A Critical Response One
Overuse of Symbolism in The Scarlet Letter
While some, such as author and lawyer Nancy Stade, find Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter and its themes “timeless and universal” (Stade “Introduction”). The famous American novelist Henry James, however, believes that Hawthorne utilized symbolism to the point of absurdity. The clash of opinions brings the reader to question if Hawthorne overused symbols or if each image he included was necessary to lead the reader to the theme. James’ criticism illuminates the fatal flaw in Hawthorn’s eminent novel, exposing the overload of symbols and representational imagery.
One first recognizes Hawthorne’s enthusiasm for images in the introduction “The Custom-House.” Through light and grass motifs, he expresses details about the characters and settings. For example, he says that the pavement around the Custom-House possessed “grass enough growing in its chinks to show that it has not, of late days, been worn by any multitudinous resort of business” to demonstrate the lack of activity at the Salem port (Hawthorne 7). On its own, it would prove an effective description of the wharf. In spite of this, the author includes a surplus of disease imagery to further elucidate his point. Over the course of four pages, he uses words like “discharging,” “dilapidated,” and “tarnished,” to describe the area filled with “decayed wooden warehouses,” and wharves “crumbled to ruin” (Hawthorne 6-9). The words, meant to bring to the reader’s mind a picture of the port as an ailing person, instead drag out the chapter unnecessarily and take away from the effect of his other symbolism.
Another major instance where Hawthorne wrecks his symbolic meaning is in the fifteenth chapter, “Hester and Pearl.” He effectively utilizes symbolism when he describes Roger Chillingworth. He says, “Hester gazed after him a little while, looking with a half-fantastic curiosity to see whether the tender grass of early spring would not be blighted beneath him, and show the wavering track of his footsteps, sere and brown” (Hawthorne 145). This demonstrates how dangerous Chillingworth is and the threat he may pose in the future to Hester’s happiness. However, the author mars the emphasis in Hester’s lament of fear with Pearl and her green scarlet letter. During Hester’s scene with Chillingworth, Pearl had been playing. “Her final employment was to gather sea-weed, of various kinds, and make herself a scarf, or mantle, and a head-dress, and thus assume the aspect of a little mermaid,” but instead of pretending to be a regular mermaid, she adds to her costume a green “A” on her bosom to match her mother’s (Hawthorne 147). While it successfully leads to Pearl questioning Hester as to the meaning of the letter, its obscure symbolism is lost on the reader and causes one to lose the image of Chillingworth and his wickedness.
Finally, in the most emphatic part of the book, Hawthorne’s symbolism takes a turn to absurdity. In chapter twenty-three, “The Revelation of the Scarlet Letter,” Reverend Dimmsdale finishes his election day sermon. Hawthorne utilizes irony and rhetoric when he then describes Dimmsdale: “How fared it with him then? Were there not the brilliant particles of a halo in the air about his head? So etherealized by spirit as he was, and so apotheosized by worshipping admirers, did his footsteps in the procession really tread upon the dust of earth?” The irony lies with the fact that Dimmsdale has portrayed himself to the town as more heavenly than he actually is. Then, suddenly, Dimmsdale confesses his involvement with Hester, and “With a convulsive motion he tore away the ministerial band from before his breast. It was revealed! But it were irreverent to describe that revelation.” The “it,” being his own scarlet letter, and Hawthorne’s greatest failing with the book, for all his excess disease imagery to the point where Dimmsdale’s exposure “ceases to be impressive, and grazes triviality” (James).
While influential critics of his time such as Evert A. Duyckinck call his book a “phsychological romance, a study of character in which the human heart is anatomized, carefully, elaborately, and with striking poetic and dramatic power,” they overlooked the high potency of the symbolism like a man on his twenty-first birthday wouldn’t realize how jello shots can add up. Those same critics say that Hawthorne differed from other literary works at the time by displaying “nature and ease” over “artifice and effort,” one wonders how ludicrously in-depth the other works were. For if the Scarlet Letter was “condensed in style,” Henry James’ opinion that the novel had too much could only be justified by the other books of its time.
Works Cited
http://www.answers.com/topic/the-scarlet-letter-novel-6
Barnes and Noble Classics Scarlet Letter
Nancy Stade, “Introduction” Barnes and Noble Classics Scarlet Letter
AP English / Period 4
April 26, 2010
The Scarlet Letter Essay Topic: A Critical Response One
Overuse of Symbolism in The Scarlet Letter
While some, such as author and lawyer Nancy Stade, find Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter and its themes “timeless and universal” (Stade “Introduction”). The famous American novelist Henry James, however, believes that Hawthorne utilized symbolism to the point of absurdity. The clash of opinions brings the reader to question if Hawthorne overused symbols or if each image he included was necessary to lead the reader to the theme. James’ criticism illuminates the fatal flaw in Hawthorn’s eminent novel, exposing the overload of symbols and representational imagery.
One first recognizes Hawthorne’s enthusiasm for images in the introduction “The Custom-House.” Through light and grass motifs, he expresses details about the characters and settings. For example, he says that the pavement around the Custom-House possessed “grass enough growing in its chinks to show that it has not, of late days, been worn by any multitudinous resort of business” to demonstrate the lack of activity at the Salem port (Hawthorne 7). On its own, it would prove an effective description of the wharf. In spite of this, the author includes a surplus of disease imagery to further elucidate his point. Over the course of four pages, he uses words like “discharging,” “dilapidated,” and “tarnished,” to describe the area filled with “decayed wooden warehouses,” and wharves “crumbled to ruin” (Hawthorne 6-9). The words, meant to bring to the reader’s mind a picture of the port as an ailing person, instead drag out the chapter unnecessarily and take away from the effect of his other symbolism.
Another major instance where Hawthorne wrecks his symbolic meaning is in the fifteenth chapter, “Hester and Pearl.” He effectively utilizes symbolism when he describes Roger Chillingworth. He says, “Hester gazed after him a little while, looking with a half-fantastic curiosity to see whether the tender grass of early spring would not be blighted beneath him, and show the wavering track of his footsteps, sere and brown” (Hawthorne 145). This demonstrates how dangerous Chillingworth is and the threat he may pose in the future to Hester’s happiness. However, the author mars the emphasis in Hester’s lament of fear with Pearl and her green scarlet letter. During Hester’s scene with Chillingworth, Pearl had been playing. “Her final employment was to gather sea-weed, of various kinds, and make herself a scarf, or mantle, and a head-dress, and thus assume the aspect of a little mermaid,” but instead of pretending to be a regular mermaid, she adds to her costume a green “A” on her bosom to match her mother’s (Hawthorne 147). While it successfully leads to Pearl questioning Hester as to the meaning of the letter, its obscure symbolism is lost on the reader and causes one to lose the image of Chillingworth and his wickedness.
Finally, in the most emphatic part of the book, Hawthorne’s symbolism takes a turn to absurdity. In chapter twenty-three, “The Revelation of the Scarlet Letter,” Reverend Dimmsdale finishes his election day sermon. Hawthorne utilizes irony and rhetoric when he then describes Dimmsdale: “How fared it with him then? Were there not the brilliant particles of a halo in the air about his head? So etherealized by spirit as he was, and so apotheosized by worshipping admirers, did his footsteps in the procession really tread upon the dust of earth?” The irony lies with the fact that Dimmsdale has portrayed himself to the town as more heavenly than he actually is. Then, suddenly, Dimmsdale confesses his involvement with Hester, and “With a convulsive motion he tore away the ministerial band from before his breast. It was revealed! But it were irreverent to describe that revelation.” The “it,” being his own scarlet letter, and Hawthorne’s greatest failing with the book, for all his excess disease imagery to the point where Dimmsdale’s exposure “ceases to be impressive, and grazes triviality” (James).
While influential critics of his time such as Evert A. Duyckinck call his book a “phsychological romance, a study of character in which the human heart is anatomized, carefully, elaborately, and with striking poetic and dramatic power,” they overlooked the high potency of the symbolism like a man on his twenty-first birthday wouldn’t realize how jello shots can add up. Those same critics say that Hawthorne differed from other literary works at the time by displaying “nature and ease” over “artifice and effort,” one wonders how ludicrously in-depth the other works were. For if the Scarlet Letter was “condensed in style,” Henry James’ opinion that the novel had too much could only be justified by the other books of its time.
Works Cited
http://www.answers.com/topic/the-scarlet-letter-novel-6
Barnes and Noble Classics Scarlet Letter
Nancy Stade, “Introduction” Barnes and Noble Classics Scarlet Letter
Monday, December 28, 2009
50 useless facts... to add to the 100 truths
1. I hate snow.
2. And ice.
3. And guard rails.
4. I like to call my call myself a good driver one day and wreck my car the next.
5. I have a permanent padiddle.
6. Whenever sitting in a restuarant, I often wonder if the employees hate their jobs as much I hate mine.
7. I cut myself on saran wrap.
8. And then almost pass out at the sight of my own blood.
9. I like to spend a lot of time at the library.
10. I like to spend a good solid 80% of my day making fun of Andrew's ex-girlfriend.
11. I spend all of my free time talking on the phone, and never get tired of it.
12. I want my wedding cake from Carlo's Bakery simply because I love Cake Boss.
13. I once scratched the number off my iTunes card when trying to type it in.
14. I really like taco salad.
15. I've really come to hate Hempfield Lady Spartan tennis.
16. I probably won't play next year.
17. AP English rapes me everyday.
18. And AP Government is just one giant disaster. I do one of two things during that class: sleep or text.
19. I've learned that you need to give everything a chance.
20. A lot has changed in the last few months of my life.
21. I really like the show Two and a Half Men.
22. I get really excited when The Office is on for three hours on Tuesday nights.
23. I think pumping gas is a man's job.
24. I'm really sad that the Harry Potter series is over.
25. As well as the Twilight saga.
26. I've learned that people will always make mistakes, but it's all about realizing you've made one and then fixing the damage.
27. Somethings just can't be forgotten.
28. Some people just create soft spots in your heart.
29. It's possible to love someone so much and realize that you didn't love that person, just the person you thought he or she was.
30. I like to correct people when he or she uses incorrect grammar.
31. I love going out to dinner.
32. I've had my license for two weeks and five days.
33. And I've already had my first accident.
34. I hate HDTV.
35. Sometimes I like to take a couple minutes and just think.
36. I really hate being a junior.
37. I forgot to register for the January SAT's. My b.
38. I hate how my phone and laptop die so fast.
39. I was an ugly, chubby child.
40. I think I grew up too fast.
41. I'm so mature for only being sixteen.
42. Just because I'm sixteen, doesn't mean I'm "young and stupid."
43. I love taking naps.
44. I really hate the color of my hair these days.
45. I try not to regret anything.
46. Don't dwell on the past.
47. Learn to forgive.
48. But you don't necessarily have to forget.
49. Learn from your mistakes.
50. I really love life these days, it's the happiest I've been in an extremely long time.
2. And ice.
3. And guard rails.
4. I like to call my call myself a good driver one day and wreck my car the next.
5. I have a permanent padiddle.
6. Whenever sitting in a restuarant, I often wonder if the employees hate their jobs as much I hate mine.
7. I cut myself on saran wrap.
8. And then almost pass out at the sight of my own blood.
9. I like to spend a lot of time at the library.
10. I like to spend a good solid 80% of my day making fun of Andrew's ex-girlfriend.
11. I spend all of my free time talking on the phone, and never get tired of it.
12. I want my wedding cake from Carlo's Bakery simply because I love Cake Boss.
13. I once scratched the number off my iTunes card when trying to type it in.
14. I really like taco salad.
15. I've really come to hate Hempfield Lady Spartan tennis.
16. I probably won't play next year.
17. AP English rapes me everyday.
18. And AP Government is just one giant disaster. I do one of two things during that class: sleep or text.
19. I've learned that you need to give everything a chance.
20. A lot has changed in the last few months of my life.
21. I really like the show Two and a Half Men.
22. I get really excited when The Office is on for three hours on Tuesday nights.
23. I think pumping gas is a man's job.
24. I'm really sad that the Harry Potter series is over.
25. As well as the Twilight saga.
26. I've learned that people will always make mistakes, but it's all about realizing you've made one and then fixing the damage.
27. Somethings just can't be forgotten.
28. Some people just create soft spots in your heart.
29. It's possible to love someone so much and realize that you didn't love that person, just the person you thought he or she was.
30. I like to correct people when he or she uses incorrect grammar.
31. I love going out to dinner.
32. I've had my license for two weeks and five days.
33. And I've already had my first accident.
34. I hate HDTV.
35. Sometimes I like to take a couple minutes and just think.
36. I really hate being a junior.
37. I forgot to register for the January SAT's. My b.
38. I hate how my phone and laptop die so fast.
39. I was an ugly, chubby child.
40. I think I grew up too fast.
41. I'm so mature for only being sixteen.
42. Just because I'm sixteen, doesn't mean I'm "young and stupid."
43. I love taking naps.
44. I really hate the color of my hair these days.
45. I try not to regret anything.
46. Don't dwell on the past.
47. Learn to forgive.
48. But you don't necessarily have to forget.
49. Learn from your mistakes.
50. I really love life these days, it's the happiest I've been in an extremely long time.
I hate snow
I really hate snow. It ruins my plans. My mom doesn't let me out of the house when it snows. I know that it's for my own safety but I get so bored. I might work tonight. But my car is getting fixed... hopefully. I'm so bored. So bored. I have nothing to do. Maybe I'll work. I don't think I'm that desperate.
K
Quote of the day: "I'm so pissed at my mom, that as soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home."
K
Quote of the day: "I'm so pissed at my mom, that as soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home."
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Christmas, among other things
Well, I'd say this year was the best Christmas by far. My parents thought it was cute to say, "you have one box, you can't return it, and I don't know if you're going to like it." So, I wake up Christmas morning, all giddy, open my one box. And would you like to know what's inside? Other boxes. I got some clothes, jewlery, a new coat, two scarves, my Minnetonka boots, some blankets, a Pitt snuggie, my laptop and an HDTV. :] I was extra liked this year. And I now have $100 to BP to put gas in my damaged car. Which I can't believe I wrecked my car this close to Christmas. It's quite depressing and I almost let it ruin my holiday. But I talked to my uncle yesterday and he said he would call around Monday and if he found one, he'd put it in on Monday so I could drive it to work Tuesday. But we'll see, I think I found one online for $80. But other than that, I had to go back to work last night. 5-11. Yeah, I almost cried a few times. I had to actually do manual labor. It was incredibly awful. Tip: It's awful to be off for a few days and have a holiday and feel like you never have to go back to work, then you go back and it hits you like, WOW THIS SUCKS. And I get to work 5-9 tonight, could life get any better? Prob not. I have to clean my room today, it's getting extremely bad. You can't walk. I have no clean clothes. My room reaks like Roadhouse. Ugh, I have to pee. I'm hungry. I'm feeling a little whiny. Also, I want to complain that my iTunes on my laptop is empty and my other computer has so many songs. :( Ugh. I hate technology. I want to wish all my songs on there... But I'm going to go before you lose your mind. Much love.
K
Quote of the day: I believe that love is the answer.
P.S. I refuse to put a picture of the damage to my car on here. It's just not going to happen. I don't want evidence.
K
Quote of the day: I believe that love is the answer.
P.S. I refuse to put a picture of the damage to my car on here. It's just not going to happen. I don't want evidence.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
License
So, this is what a licensed driver looks like. Yeah, it's legal for me to operate a vehicle alone. :D
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